Hey guys,

If you're seeing this, you already know what I'm about to say. See that girl to your right? That's me. Most of the time, I'm Ellie Russo. Some of the time, I'm someone else entirely.

This event has been called a "shift" by some. In this "shift", it is believed that approximately one week out of the month, every one of us enters an altered state of consciousness, in which we embody another identity completely.

Freaky? You've seen nothing. No one knows exactly why or how it happens, we just know that it does. Know what's even freakier? These identities come with special abilities. Some would say they're super powers. You know, as in the kind superheroes have?

It's easier for some people to accept and some struggle with it until they give into the reality of what's happening to them. I've decided for the path of least resistance. I can't say I completely understand what goes on, but it is happening, with or without my understanding and permission. What else can we do but make the best of it?

That's where you come in. You're in this listing because I love and trust you enough to reveal who this other self is. And because I love and trust you, I'm enlisting your help in the next big challenge in my life.

Welcome to #loveislouder.

Now, I know some of you are eye-rolly right now, ready to dismiss this as more of my hippie mumbo jumbo. But let me tell you a little about what I've found out about my alterego and what I'm looking to do here.

I promise there are cookies at the end of this brick road. πŸ’–οΈοΈ οΈπŸ™Œ πŸͺπŸͺ

Chapter 1 Meet Elsa

Elsa Bloodstone

Monster hunter

Meet Elsa Bloodstone. She's the sole survivor in a long line of (two) near-immortal monster hunters.

You know how I know this? Remember those abilities our alteregos come with? As it turns out, we're not the only ones who took notice.

Their (or our) lives have been written down for posterity in the form of comic book lore. All your favorites? They're running right among us.

I'm sure there were creative liberties taken in the writing of these biographies, but from accounts of people who've been at this for much longer and the own clues I've left for myself, it would appear that we are all super. "We are all special."

When Elsa first came into my life, she rocked the boat. I was so angry and hurt at having pieces of my life ripped from me without my consent.

See, as much as we try to contain this mess to the week our memories become not quite our own, it spills over. I "lucked out" with an alterego who has no problem being intrusive.

Remember the stitches I had on my arm earlier this year? That was Elsa's greeting card. Let me tell you, it was not fun waking up confused on the floor of my bathroom covered in blood. From there, it only got worse.

I've come to learn that she's kind of a bulldozer. While some people have a gentle awakening, Elsa was a four-alarm fire.

Within the first month that she popped into my life, she gave me stitches, got me fired, blackmailed me and tried to take over my life even in weeks she's not around.

My best friend thinks I'm crazy, I've since moved out of my apartment and half of my family has no idea how to talk to me anymore.

I wanted to hate her. I rejected her with all my forces. From what I can tell, when she was around, I fought it.

She has a horrid attitude that's eaten away at my friendships. All I wanted was my old life back.

And then, something odd happened. I got stronger. Knowing what she'd been through and that she'd survived made me stronger.

I don't think it's a coincidence that this is all happening now. And I don't think it's a coincidence who our alteregos are.

Our spirits know better, our souls have devised this plan much before we were born. You don't have to believe me. Some people think it's crazy.

But look around. People are flying, teleporting, lifting cars with one hand. Something out of reason is happening. Something in the way we've learned the world works is amiss.

We can embrace it or we can go against it. Either way, the world will shift as it must. But suffering is a choice. And I choose not to.

Whoever she is, she is a part of me. Acceptance is the only choice.

Chapter 2 Acceptance


After a few months of struggle, it finally hit me that I was coming at it from the wrong angle. I'd been fighting Elsa, trying to eliminate her influence in my life and bemoaning how awful she is and what a mess she made.

See the pattern there? How it's all about me? I'm not proud to admit that it took me a while to realize what I was doing. And when I did, it became clear why things weren't working out.

I was stuck in my own ego, which left little room to see it from anyone else's point of view. What was it like for her? What if it were me in her position? Would I be any kinder? After all, people tend to go on defensive when they're attacked.

It occurred to me that I never made any actual effort to accept her into my life, yet I expected her to behave in a way that was favorable to me. Is that not the definition of selfish?

This is the solution I found. While I'll do my own part in accepting her in my head and in charge of my body--should I start calling it 'our'?--I can't do it alone. You are the people around me who are most likely to come into contact with her.

I find it's often easier to handle difficult situations when we know what to expect. So I'll try to put that down for all of you, as I ask for your help to make this transition as comfortable and seamless as it can be.

When dealing with Elsa, here's what I'd like you to keep in mind.

Even though sometimes we hate the way someone behaves, it is often more productive to approach the situation from an empathetic place than to immediately throw up defenses.

No matter where we are in life, we all struggle with self-acceptance and worthiness. I've learned that sometimes those who are seemingly the least deserving of kindness are often the ones who need it the most.

This may seem like an impossible request and I wish I weren't putting you in this position, but I know each one of you and one of the things that I admire most about you is your ability to love.

Though most of you don't even think about it, as someone who's been on the other side of it, please don't take it for granted. Empathy is not a given. Having the courage to wear someone else's shoes, even for a little while, is a rare gift.

A gift I've seen you give over and over. So I'm asking you to please find it in you to offer kindness to someone who wouldn't know what to do with it, because no one ever bothered to show it to her.

I figure knowing some things about what is possibly behind a terrible attitude might help tap into the deep well of compassion in you.

So here's what I've learned about Elsa.

Chapter 3 Being Elsa

Her dad was an asshole

Revered by many as the greatest monster hunter to have ever lived, in the comfort of his own home, Ulysses Bloodstone was a bully.

Elsa was trained to be a soldier from a very young age. This is where things start to get complicated. The very basics of social behavior and affection as we know it seem to be virtually unknown to Elsa.

β€œBeware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

All she knows is kill or be killed

Everywhere she goes, there is someone or something trying to kill her. Thanks to Dad, she has the skills to defeat the threats.

But it leaves little room for any kind of bonding beyond survival.

She is forever alone...literally

She's lost literally everyone she's ever cared for. Her family is dead, she won't allow herself any friends and, as a near-immortal monster hunter, she has the rest of eternity to kill monsters or be killed by them. That is all she ever does. Bound by duty, the only thing to give her life meaning is to perform the task she was trained for.

She doesn't belong here

As is the case with your own alteregos, this isn't her world. Whether we're talking about parallel universes or crashing timelines, or whatever the theory for it is these days, the fact is that none of them belong here.

They show up once a month, not knowing where they've been or how long they'll be around for. It's a form of suspended existence that makes me wonder how more of them haven't snapped out of sanity. If we can call any of this sane.

In Elsa's case, I can only imagine how disorienting it must be to land in this world. She was raised to believe her only purpose is to hunt monsters and to vanquish evil. And then she lands here, where none of the threats she's used to are present.

There are no monsters to slay and people behave in an odd way that we've grown used to calling "normal".

So, this is where you come in, favorites. Let's equip this monster hunter to deal with one of the biggest threats any of us faces in this incarnation: human emotions.

Epilogue #loveislouder

Love is louder

So, all of this was to get to this point and ask for your help in making this transition a little easier for everyone. I do realize that when she comes by, you'll likely be dealing with your own shifting.

I don't mean to interfere with that or take up more of your time and emotional quocient than is offered. But knowledge is power and with this, I hope that if you run into Elsa, this guide will make it easier to deal with her. Here's what little last advice I can offer.

She likes tea and British things

The one thing I can figure out she likes through reading her stuff is tea. I've purchased a variety of types in anticipation for her arrival. I'd be glad to share if you wish to have any at your place in case of an eventual visit (or if you just really love tea). Hopefully in making her comfortable, her defenses will cave.

Don't rise to the bait

Like with a caged animal, it may take some time to establish a sense of safety. Don't get discouraged if your kindness is met with rudeness. It is likely that she won't understand what is happening, or take it at face value. When someone lives under permanent threat, any security is doubted. Patience is key.

Thank you

Lastly, thank you for clicking through all of this. I know it took some time and I know it's a lot to ask for. If there's anything I can help you with, as well, just say the word. This is the time where love speaks louder and I'm very grateful to have all of you in my life. πŸ™Œβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ

As promised, collect your cookies. If you want real ones, you know where to find me. πŸ˜‰πŸͺπŸͺπŸͺ